Solitude & Recharging Yourself

Friday, April 04, 2014

I think having an alone time is crucial for everyone. Why? Because it's a given opportunity to discover who you really are.

“We need solitude, because when we're alone, we're free from obligations, we don't need to put on a show, and we can hear our own thoughts.”
― Tamim Ansary

To be honest, I feel like people around me are sucking the life out of me. Here, I'm not talking about my close friends and bffs, I'm talking about my mates, colleagues and all that. Sometimes, when I hang out with my classmates/ just mates, I feel as if my mind is not there. Sure, my physical self is sitting in front of them but they don't have my full attention. It wasn't like that for me last year. It's just... lately.

Recently, I feel like I've withdrawn myself from the rest of the world and my 'battery' has not been charging. I have been minimizing my need for external validation and wanting to recuperate from the many stress factors.

I remember telling my friends I needed to spend time alone and one of them said I was an 'emo' person. I beg to differ. It doesn't necessarily means I want to be an outcast or whatever, it just means I think differently. My life should be balanced, not all the time I have to be out with other people. Solitude is vital to me as well. It did me good. It shows, because I feel more independent now, compared to last time.

I've changed. Previously, I was more of an extravert. Going out with new people, being more expressive, and when I was out with them, I usually does the most talking. Striking up a conversation with strangers wasn't exactly a problem for me as well. Now though, it's different. I don't have the want or feel like I have the need to be more initiative with something first. More laid back, I would say.

Also, compared to last time, I have the ability to eat alone in public, presently. I don't even care about the stares and attention of other people. All I think of was that I wanted to restore myself when I'm alone.

I strongly believe solitude did me a lot of good and allowed me to reboot my own thoughts and unwind. My brain needs a chance to rest and replenish itself, and always being out there doesn't do wonders. Solitude also provided me time to think deeply about things that are of importance to me. Since daily responsibilities, goals and commitments can stress me out and make my life dull, this constant motion of being in my own world allows me to feel more relaxed as I engage in my own deep thought.

Aside from that, being isolated from others also allowed me to meditate on my own values. It helps me to prioritize my love for myself and what's truly important for me, like my dreams and visions, or even my hobbies. and in the same time,

Spending so much of your free time with others may be taking too much time away from other things you consider priorities. I find it to be congruent to read novels, write, or just sipping on hot chocolate in Starbucks all alone, while thinking about my goals.. Spending so much time going out with others actually distract my priorities.

A couple of days ago, I felt concerned about my own personality changing, so I did a few studies about my own feelings and the situation I was currently. I then found out I'm still an extravert! Thank goodness.  
Introverts, on the other hand, are people who are low in extraversion. They tend to be quiet, reserved and less involved in social situations. It is important to note that introversion and shyness are not the same thing. People low in extraversion are not afraid of social situations, they simply prefer to spend more time alone and do not need as much social stimulation.

And there you have it. If you're feeling the way I am right now, don't worry. We're just people low in extraversion, but still am an extravert. Just not so much of being one.

Whatever that is, I honestly believe both introverts and extraverts should strive to understand each other's differences and similarities. All in all, I believe everyone needs time to be alone. Set your own schedule and find your true self. It's really helpful, and I assure you that by doing this, you will gain strength.

Of course, I'm not saying you should exclude yourself from being a social butterfly, but know that, it would be really great to be perfectly content, and to just lay on your soft couch and have a cup of hot tea while reading a magazine. Allowing yourself to recharge is certainly helpful.

I have to be alone very often. I'd be quite happy if I spent from Saturday night until Monday morning alone in my apartment. That's how I refuel.
- Audrey Hepburn
Only a weak person needed someone else around all the time.
- Sarah Dessen

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About Me

I'm Abby Ooi and I was born in Penang Island in 1995. Currently, I'm residing in Singapore. A degree pursuer, traveller, and a croissant addict. Family is paramount in my life.